Women’s nowhere land and manly men’s holdout to the end.
There is a place terrifying to women. A place only men will go. A zone of unshaven, often wiry and scratchy mess. The beard may be the last unique manly identifier left in the known universe.
Women can do everything a man can do and one better, producing a baby. The beard is the last bastion, the final holdout, the as of yet uncrossable frontier for women to master. (Or is it?)
Perhaps women will never decide to cross the facial hair boundary. Only time will reveal the answer.
Men, I implore you to forgo shaving every day. Grow your beards and mustaches out. Some of you will want a long or bushy beard while others need the highly manicured sharp beard lines. Many of you will opt for the goatee.
My preference is to let my stubble grow for 3 or 4 days then do a light shave. I have a close beard and mustache most of each week. I haven’t transitioned to the full beard yet but it’s in my blood.
Might a beard be lurking in the veins of every man? For each of us, the questions come: Should I? Can I? Will it be full? How will the world see me?
The answer my friends lies deep within. The adventurer, the conquerer, the nurturer, the tender, the bold, and the meek in all men will eventually experiment if not seek their inner Grizzly Adams.
There’s strength in a beard.
Patience and wisdom it shows.
Character is revealed by the shape it grows.
And no doubt will be had for anyone who beholds:
The great beard a man wears holds precious to his soul.
Women of the world have united and joined hands. We must accept female underarm shag and unshaved legs. Their body, their right, they’ve put up with man fur so we have to understand.
Time has moved to another dimension. No time warp will save us now. For man, chest-thumping, dangle comparing, blaring ego, the beard represents the final stronghold.
The manhood mantle.
But men be warned a new age has dawned. Alas, even the beard shall yield. Gender no longer can dictate the wearing of beards. Several brave and proud women now sport beards.
Should there be protests? Can man just have one thing? The answer is no.
The old jokes must end. Brilliant scientist, most likely women, must come up with a way for men to become pregnant, carry babies, and have C-sections.
Sure, you’re thinking, “Well, men being pregnant and carrying babies isn’t possible.” Please reflect on how many things we now have in our world for which the same sentiment has been offered.
Now the truth is told, women are not terrified by having a beard. You can find information about women with beards here in this article from Allure about women with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) or who are trans.
Men can’t possibly ever feel whole now that the beard is gone. So, there must be equality.
So, scientists get to work and engineer a real man-mommy to even out the gender scales.
Don’t be dismayed men. The game is not over. One day with a tweak here and there men too may be as well equipped as women going way beyond man-beard hair.
Be proud of your beard regardless of gender and savor the feeling of warmth and display you have rendered.
The writer of this story has no actual bias or care as to what kind of facial hair anyone decides to wear. The author finds it hilarious and ridiculous people make big deals out non-issues which have no bearing on the essential necessities of life.
All statements regarding any kind of finality made within are absolutely fatuous and not to be taken seriously. In fact, any attempt to think the words above are resembling literature or impactful writing may be bordering on insanity.
Furthermore, the expression of all ideas contained herein can be dismissed as poppycock. (No gender reference intended.)