Rejoining and overcoming.
Descends in waves crashing waves underneath my outer face.
Underneath images upheld in my mind of who I want to pretend.
Ball of angst coiled and tight.
Deeply wounded still keeping in, in, in.
Tell me once again.
Don’t want saving grace.
Don’t want helping hands.
Hell, something easy to understand.
Suffer hungry soul in my grasp.
Loose bonds growing hooks trying once again to attract.
Turn my back on you vile voices.
Look away no entry here.
Once you had a place.
Now i live to feel every joy and pain.
Feel scorching flames.
Laugh and burn in their searing fire.
See the mist to swim in its rank.
Breathe rancid in.
Yet monsters lie within.
No light, no tunnel at wit's end.
Endless struggle carries through.
Meaning, foundation misconstrued.
What forms take shape underneath the shroud.
Facades painted in colorful wistful clouds.
Creeping tiny behind soft eyes.
Garden of miserable delights feigning to be proud.
Wash me in your blood, in your richness kind Pain.
Oh, great sage give unto me great shame.
Your wisdom shall set me free.
Whom i’m supposed to be.
Not happy balloons but weighty sacks ripe with fears.
Not moods or fancies thrown in the wind.
Darkness slicing down.
Rips my see and tears out my heart.
i begin again renewed fresh alive in spite of great walls ahead…