Study Shows 99% of People Want To Change The World But Nobody Wants To Change The Toilet Paper
Just how does this work? Am I the only one who cares? I’m the only person in the house concerned with the rotation.
We’re not talking about just any kind of spin here. The utmost importance and concern must be given to this issue of tissue. Yeah, I take care of most household cleaning duties, but there is a responsibility, I feel, upon each individual to replenish the roll.
We’re talking dire circumstances, folks. I know I’m not the only one who gets pissed off when hurrying to the place of comfort, the rest facilities, the laboratory of inner sanctums, and assuming the required position, find there is no toilet paper.
Oh, the fam has had meetings, discussions, instruction, and pleading yet they persist in their forgetfulness. I’m beginning to think it’s a conspiracy. “Just let Dad take care of it,” kind of thinking. And me, the sucker.
I admit it must be my fault. I’m an enabler. The first step in all treatment is self-realization, acceptance of responsibility, and desire to change. But, where is the chronic Toilet Paper Changer’s Annonymous group? The shame, the shame.
In quarantine, you would think your family would give a hoot, but no. You can beg for help. You can yell, have caring, meaningful conversations, but one roll later, the horrors begin again. And, no one likes getting stuck on a full pot without a square to spare.
So, I implore you all, be prepared. Check your bathrooms. Be vigilant! For goodness sake, disinfect, yes, but beware lest you must pull up your underwear over an uncleaned area, forced to hunt a precious roll. Stock your areas people and find a way to reprogram the minds of reluctant replacers.
Experts around the globe agree this issue has the potential to disrupt lives on an unprecedented scale. Global markets may be in a panic. Their TP could be missing, and it might mean war. Rolling up sleeves takes on a whole new meaning.
Forget about a pandemic. Think twice before shaking hands. You don’t know where those paws have been.
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The author of this story denies any of the above statements may represent actual occurrences or feelings regarding any waste disposal devices or accessories except for each word written above. Furthermore, no responsibility may be given to the writer of this story for poor bathroom etiquette or failure to flush when necessary.
It may be noted that Courtesy Flushing is a forgotten art and you may not have any idea what this practice involves. The ancient art of CF requires in-depth training but the notion will be hinted here.
Courtesy Flushing entails flushing the toilet during or very soon after the process of busting a grumpy, otherwise known as releasing the Kraken. Much precaution and awareness must be taken to avoid splash or sloshing therefore raising your rear off the rim may be required during CF.
The generation of this article required great silliness and consideration regarding a topic not often touched upon. All references to experts and studies may be verified by no source but certainly, we all know this shit is true.