Find a piece of peace with a day of repose to recharge.
Up in the air.
Where have my thought gone?
Alone in agony.
Release is biting and scratching.
Searching without finding.
Letting go the only way out.
Looking without seeing.
Must listen, feel, and be to taste Now.
Didn’t know if it was enough. Couldn’t decide if the day was fulfilled. Wanted to have more hours left in me to do more.
Took a deep breath, smiled and laid my head down.
Tomorrow is another day and if the sun shines again and my eyes open time will give a chance for growth and movement.
No more can I ask for.
The words will come again to this feeling and fill the void. The smashed cockroach on my floor in its mush and remnants on the bottom of my night shoes lacks the chance electrified in the flashes joining and firing in my mind.
Seeing, and taking on the harshness of the day past alongside the victories, love, and sated happiness gives a shred of completion.
Yet, though there is so much one can do is there ever enough moment to do it? I think not.
What is judging me and holding me back but the shackles and restraints locked onto and inside this husk of covering masking import and purpose.
I am a mistake fighting to correct the wrongs and imperfections making up the trueness of me. It is by these faults that are found some realness and wholeness giving just the hint of any ability to be loved, liked, and human.
A sense of gibberish.
A feeling of humbleness.
A shared likeness in a soul to any individual.
The guiding questions sometimes fail. The what, the who am, the why have left in a flash and stripped me naked. Bareness and cold licks at a raw animal present and voracious lurking in my bones.
So, for this reason, my brain needed a break.
Didn’t write for a day — felt guilty.
Did hours of brain-dead activity — felt relieved.
Got a full night sleep — felt ready.
Spent hours hand-sawing and trimming trees around the house. My wife and I put up and arranged holiday decorations in the front yard. Delivered my work truck to be fixed at a shop.
Ditched the healthy food for a day and the family had fast food for lunch and pizza for dinner(surely the dietician gods will have me prosecuted). Lifted weights. Had dance parties between lifting sets in my garage with my 6 and 9-year-old.
Felt strong for being almost 50 years old and squatting 425 lbs for 3 repetitions and deadlifting the same. 70’s music turned up loud made for really fun lifting and dancing with my kids a highlight for the day.
Doing the heavy lifting surprised me by unlocking my thoughts and had creative ideas for writing. Made notes of my musings immediately following training.
The tickle wars on the couch that happened after pizza and baths were loud and crazy. My daughters were hilarious and laughing so much I could hardly stop the tickling.
Kids wouldn’t calm down. Yelled a little after they dangerously threw themselves headfirst off the couch.
Reckless abandon scared me.
Finally, they listened. Changed the focus got them to finish the night falling asleep to a favorite movie. Felt regretful that I yelled. Ended light, calm, and content with kisses and I love yous before sleep.
Think I’ll do better next time and not yell just switch the focus.
Used muscle pulse therapy for a couple of hours. Watched Vice News, read blog stories, played WordsWithFriends during therapy.
Doing muscle pulse therapy after heavy activity rejuvenates muscles and speeds recovery as wells as reduces inflammation.
Went out my front door in my underwear to unplug the main cord for the holiday decorations. It was 2 am so whatever. If someone sees me and is offended, let them be offended.
Thrilled to have near absolute quiet to write. The letters want to jump out of my fingers. Had this idea to write about a day and share.
Still don’t feel like I’ve done enough today. Only made a small edit earlier today on the blog site I made to try my hand at affiliate marketing. Have no idea how it will ever get traffic. Working on it.
Didn’t get to write on my series today and I didn’t get to work on my coding class today.
But, having a minute to write before bed is giving me a bit of satisfaction. Hope that just one of you made it this far through my rambling and will find your own content zone recording your words. Maybe you’ll find a bit of rest and freedom by taking a break.
Sending out a vibe with these words to revitalize yourself with a little brain-break.
Sleep will be so sweet and it’s only a moment away.
Good fortune to all in finding your space to be empty and refill.